


Our Slow Designs (When We Ourselves are Dull)

by JackEPeace



Category: Conviction (TV 2016)
Genre: F/F, Femslash February, Soul Mate AU, Tumblr Prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:52:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9623024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackEPeace/pseuds/JackEPeace
Summary: The second Hayes Morrison realizes what a soul mate is, she’s completely opposed to the idea. Hayes doesn’t want a fairytale, doesn’t want some stupid storybook happy ending. She doesn’t want a soul mate. So Hayes goes out of her way to make sure that she doesn’t find hers.(Obligatory soul mate AU)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Femslash February!! 
> 
> I got this prompt from tumblr to fill the soul mates AU square on my Bingo Card! Feel free to pop over to find me on tumblr to drop off more prompts (in February or any month!) 
> 
> Title comes from "All's Well That Ends Well" by William Shakespeare.

While some people have lengthy sentences, flowery phrases, quippy one-liners or simple salutations on their wrists, Tess Larson has only one word.

_No._

It quickly becomes her least favorite word.

She figures it should be the opposite. She should love the word that will bring her to her soul mate; she should embrace that single syllable and the certainty that comes with it. But all Tess can think about is what the word means and how she dreads that the first thing her soul mate is destined to think and say when they meet Tess is the word 'no.' She's unable to wrap her head around how the person she's meant to be with will be able to measure her up so quickly and find her lacking within one beat of their heart.

Her mother, smelling always like stale cigarette smoke, had only looked at Tess when the word had appeared on her wrist when she was ten years old, the age most people got their soul marking. She'd only scoffed, digging around in the pockets of her purse for a crumpled pack of cigarettes. "Bunch of bullshit anyway," she'd mumbled and that was the only consolation she'd had for her daughter.

Her aunt had been kinder. Her aunt was always kinder. She'd traced the words with her callused fingers, smiling at her niece. "Maybe it's something good," she'd pointed out, "like maybe your soul mate will say something like 'no, I can't believe it's you. How did I get so lucky?'"

Tess had smiled at that then but the words had lost their comfort when her aunt had died and she'd still had that one single, simple word printed on her wrist. She'd often wondered about her aunt's soul mate and whether they'd been unfairly cheated out of their match or if they, too, were fated for an early, untimely death.

Even now, Tess is slightly embarrassed by the mark. She feels like it brands her as someone undesirable, someone meant to push their soul mate away upon their first meeting. Despite what her aunt had said, Tess can't bring herself to look at the word in a positive light, to imagine that it comes from anything but disappointment. Usually Tess wears a watch, the band falling across her wrist; it's easy enough to cover up only one word. She's seen other people do this, too. Seen hints of words and phrases peeking out from beneath bracelets and watches; she's seen people try to hide their marks with tattoos, only to have the words come through darker than the rest of the ink. Tess can't understand why someone would try to hide their mark, to hide themselves from their soul mate.

At the same time, she understands completely.

Tess just wants to be good enough for someone. She wishes that her soul mate would think that she was.

She wishes that the word on her wrist was _yes_ instead. Wishes that the first words she could hear from the person she's fated to be with are _yes, Tess, it's you_.

Tess figures some people daydream about meeting their soul mate. Some try to cover the marks. Some advertise to find their mate quicker. And she just imagines the words she'd brand herself with if she could.

* * *

 

The second Hayes Morrison realizes what a soul mate is, she's completely opposed to the idea. She sees her parents, she understands the way they work, how they move around each other like magnets with the same poles, like cogs in a machine: destined to connect but only fleetingly, to make something larger work. Her parents are soul mates. She's seen their marks, heard their stupid story a million times: from them and in different interviews. But she hasn't seen any guarantee of true love, not from them. It was like her parents came together and let their ambitions run the show, throwing love by the wayside. Which is fine. Hayes doesn't want a fairytale, doesn't want some stupid storybook happy ending. She doesn't want a soul mate.

Hayes goes out of her way to make sure that she doesn't find hers.

The words on her wrist aren't easy to hide but she makes do. When she was younger, she used to puzzle over them; it got easier to understand when she got older. _Oh, I, it's so nice to meet you. I'm-_ The words stop there and that's where Hayes figures she'll say whatever magical phrase she's going to say to make this other person realize they're bonded for life.

Just the idea of it sends her into a panic attack.

As she grows up, Hayes lies about the words in interviews with the press. "Nosy bastards," she makes a habit of saying, especially when she's still on camera. It was cute when the words came out of the mouth of the ten-year-old First Daughter. Not so cute when they were spoken by the sixteen-year-old First Daughter who was pushing a reporter's camera to the ground as she was snarling them.

Not that Hayes cares. She has a few goals: escape the notoriety of her parents and the toxicity of the Morrison name and ensure that no one who would ever meets her will assure her that it's 'nice.'

Hayes doesn't know if changing your destiny is possible, if changing the words on your wrist can happen. She doesn't know if you can shake your soul mate like a bad one-night-stand but she's willing to give it a try.

What does she need a soul mate for, anyway? She's doing just fine on her own.

Hayes figures that most people are out there looking for their soul mates, searching for true love. As far as she's concerned, that's all bullshit. There are plenty of people out there who seem to feel the same. Or, at least, there are plenty of people out there willing to sleep with someone who isn't their soul mate. Or someone who is an ex-president's kid.

Hayes makes a habit of only hooking up with people once she's certain that they are in no shape, way or form her soul mate. It's how she meets Wallace, even though a few weeks into their fling he seems ready to throw his soul mate over and run off with her instead. She's quick to cut ties with him after that; commitment is not in the Morrison dictionary.

Unless you're Jackson, of course. He's met his soul mate and he couldn't be happier. It makes Hayes want to gag herself, preferably in front of Jackson and his perfect boyfriend.

"You'd be happier if you could just settle down," her mother says at one family dinner. She's fond of making these assumptions. "All your…philandering makes it hard for your soul mate to find you."

"How do you know?" Hayes shoots back irritably, just because she can. "Maybe my soul mate is a philanderer too." She smiles sweetly at the future Senator for New York.

Harper only looks exhausted, primly sipping from her martini glass and then holding it up for a re-fill.

It isn't long after that conversation that Hayes finds herself in jail -again. Only this time the chargers are much more serious and she wonders if there are some female prisoners out there who are going to be so excited to meet Hayes Morrison that she finds her soul mate.

But before she can contemplate a life on the inside, Wallace is there, looking just as smug and arrogant as he did before. Now he's wearing a wedding band and Hayes feels a stab of relief rather than jealousy. He doesn't look surprised to see her behind bars.

Wallace offers her a deal even she can't refuse: freedom in exchange to being the city's show pony and running the CIU. She accepts because she'd rather watch _Orange is the New Black_ than live it.

Hayes is pleased that all eyes are on her as she walks into the DA's office, her new credentials clipped to the bottom of her blouse. She's notorious and not for some charitable act of good will. It's unlikely that anyone will be happy to meet her here.

Definitely not Sam, whose job she stole. Which is fine. She's not into his clean-cut, all-American-boy looks.

And not Frankie, who barely spares her a passing glance after their shake hands. He's an ex-con, she knows this from his file. She wonders if his soul mate's words were spoken to him on the inside or if they've only just been reunited.

Maxine is definitely not Hayes Morrison's biggest fan. Hayes loves her already, mostly because Maxine personifies the expression 'if looks could kill.' "I didn't vote for your father," she says and Hayes almost wishes those were the words on her wrist. She would have loved to shove them in her father's face every chance she got.

And then there's Tess, a smiling, blonde fairy who looks twelve years old and is dressed like a kid playing in her mother's closet. She grins as she thrusts her hand out toward Hayes. "Oh, I, it's so nice to meet you. I'm-"

Oh, no.

Oh, fuck this.

"No." Hayes pulls her hand away from Tess's so quickly that she jostles her bracelets and she can see a single word on Tess's wrist. It only makes things worse. "No. No way." She shakes her head, taking a step back. "Nope."

All eyes are turned on her but it's Tess's Hayes can't seem to look away from. Those giant, blue eyes, like she's some sort of fricking Disney Princess or something. She looks hurt rather than excited which Hayes figures is par for the course when Hayes Morrison is involved.

Maxine's eyebrows lift. "What's the problem?"

Neither Hayes nor Tess hurry to answer. They already know exactly what's going on here, as though that instant connection that everyone talks about happening when they meet their soul mate is letting them share in the surprise and confusion.

Hayes looks at Tess, sizing the girl up. Naïve, innocent, bubbly, bright…no.

First official order of business as the head of the CIU? "You're fired," Hayes says frankly, pointing at Tess.

Her words are met mostly with silence, though Sam has the decency to sputter in surprise on Tess's behalf. Not that Hayes cares. She turns on her heel and marches out of the conference room, finding her nice, shiny new office. And slamming the door behind her.

Wallace comes into her office about an hour later, which is a lot longer than Hayes figures it would take his nosy ass to show up. He doesn't bother to knock which is obnoxious.

Hayes only stares at him, legs still propped up on her desk, crossed at the ankles. Wallace crosses his arms. "You can't do that."

"Why?" Hayes lifts an eyebrow. "I'm not scuffing the wood."

Wallace rolls his eyes. "I mean firing Tess."

"Is that her name?" She asks sweetly, like she doesn't already know.

Tess. It suits her. A cute little name for a cute little girl that Hayes Morrison would just chew up and spit out. Her toxicity would just infect her, tarnish her pretty blonde hair and dull the sparkle in those big eyes.

Wallace frowns. "Don't change the subject."

"But I thought she was the subject?"

"Hayes, "Wallace grits out, scrubbing a hand across his face. Hayes grins, pleased with herself. "You can't fire her because she's your soul mate. I can't even begin to delve into the issues associated with that sentence but…you can't fire her."

Hayes sits up straighter, setting her feet down onto the floor so her heels click sharply. "Why not? I thought this was my unit?"

"I said you could pick your cases, not that you could fire my team," Wallace corrects. "I put together the team. You work with it. Get over your issues or don't. But she stays."

* * *

 

Four pairs of eyes focus on Hayes as she walks into the conference room the next day. She looks at Tess, ignoring the others. "We're just going to ignore this, okay? This is how that's going to work. Okay? Great. Let's study some crime scene photos, shall we?"

The conference room is filled with an awkward silence, the kind that comes with refusing to acknowledge the elephant in the room. The kind that comes with working side-by-side with your soul mate, the person you're supposedly fated to fall in love with and spend the rest of your life with, and acting like you don't even know that they're in the room. Hayes has had years of practice at navigating her way through uncomfortable silences and awkward tensions, so she's quite adapt at working through it now.

Hayes can't help but notice that Tess is wearing long sleeves today, long enough to cover her wrists; for good measure, there's a watch covering the word, hiding it from view.

Eventually, Hayes sends them off on their own assignments: Tess and Frankie to study the crime scene, Sam to find the crime's only eyewitness. She and Maxine set out to inform the victim's family that they're looking at the case.

As soon as they're in Maxine's car, the older woman turns toward her. "You're a bitch."

She says this almost conversationally, like someone might make a remark about the weather or a baseball game. Hayes looks at her in surprise, arching her eyebrows. "I…" She isn't sure how to response, especially when her first instinct is to accept the word like a compliment.

"Are you just going to spend the next, what, year…two years…ignoring Tess?" Maxine continues, merging aggressively into traffic. "It's not all about you, you know. Though I'm sure people like you are used to making all the rules."

Hayes rolls her eyes. "I'm so glad twenty-four hours has given you so much insight into my mind," she mumbles.

Even though Maxine is sort of right.

Maxine doesn't seem impressed. "Talk to her," she says firmly. "Or I quit."

It's odd how Hayes already senses the weight in that threat. "You can't do that," she says haughtily. "Wallace won't let you."

Maxine only looks at her and Hayes figures that she could definitely quit if she wanted to. Wallace wouldn't stand a chance against that look.

Even so, Hayes takes Maxine's advice. Later that evening, when the rest of the team has gone, Hayes finds Tess in the office that she shares with Frankie. Her desk is piled with papers, her pen tapping incessantly against a case file.

Tess looks surprised when Hayes appears in the doorway, dropping her pen. "I…"

"Look," Hayes interrupts quickly, "I think this soul mate stuff is bullshit. I've never wanted a soul mate and I'm sorry you've been stuck with me. We can work together and, maybe…who knows. I guess we can see what happens. Maybe I'll be dazzled, change my mind. But for now, let's just keep it easy, okay? Colleagues, right?"

Hayes smiles at Tess hopefully, easily. If she could see herself in the mirror, she would hate to see her father's politician smile curling up her lips.

For a minute, Tess doesn't say anything. Hayes turns to leave the office, satisfied; obviously Maxine was right about talking to her.

"No."

Tess's voice is quiet but hard and it surprises Hayes, causing her to turn back around. Tess is standing, her palms flat on the surface of her desk and she lifts her head, meeting Hayes' gaze. "No. I'm not going to spend the next months of my life walking on eggshells, hoping that I…impress you enough to make you interested in falling in love with me. I'm not going to jump through your hoops and just hope that I'm good enough for you."

Hayes isn't sure how to respond, her tongue heavy, any hope at words stuck in her throat.

Tess lifts her chin slightly, her eyes sparkling steel. "Please leave. I'm in the middle of something."

Hayes steps out of the office, too surprised to feel embarrassed by her hasty retreat.

* * *

 

It isn't too hard for Hayes to find Tess's address, though it takes her nearly two days to give that address to a taxi driver and allow herself to walk up to Tess's front door.

Honestly, Hayes doesn't know what she's doing there. She's never been one to apologize, never been one to attempt to forge or repair relationships that she might have otherwise fractured. Unless her carelessness hurt Jackson, it's always just been easier to walk away without looking back.

Yet here she is, knocking on Tess's door and hoping that she answers.

She does. The door swings open and there she is. This girl, this woman, that Hayes is supposed to spend the rest of her life with. The idea nearly takes the breath from her lungs, nearly causes her heart to jump right out of her chest. She's pretty sure she might have a panic attack just from looking at her.

And, as odd as it sounds, Hayes can almost feel the words on her wrist growing hot, like each one is being etched into her skin for the first time by a tattooist's needle.

Tess doesn't look like the stony, stoic woman from a few nights ago. She's back to the quiet, small, hopeful girl that Hayes saw that first day; she's back to being the type of person who looks at everyone around her hoping that they'll like her. It doesn't make Hayes annoyed or frustrated; it only makes her curious.

"Sorry about the other night," Hayes says, forcing the words out of her mouth. It makes her apology sound breezy rather than nervous. She's not sure that's a point in her favor. "I didn't mean to imply that you needed to jump through hoops to impress me just…" Just what? Hayes isn't sure.

Obviously she wishes she could tell Tess to just forget it, to find herself someone else to love and spend the rest of her life with. That's not how it works, of course. Hayes isn't sure if she cares or not.

Tess only shrugs. "It's fine," she says, toying with the doorknob on her side. "I always figured it would be something like this."

Curious, Hayes lifts an eyebrow. "Why?"

Tess holds up her wrist. The word, Hayes' first, is staring back at her. No. "It doesn't exactly suggest happy endings and true love," Tess points out sardonically. "I think it says everything, all things considered."

Hayes studies the word; it doesn't take long. She wonders how it had felt growing up, wondering what you were going to do to cause that to be the first word out of your soul mate. She wonders if Tess worked to alter herself the way that Hayes had, hoping to change her destiny.

If they'd succeeded, would they still have ended up here? Or did they somehow succeed anyway and that's why they're here?

"You can come in, if you want," Tess says dispassionately, stepping away from the door. "I can make some coffee."

"Thanks." Hayes shuts the door behind her. "Hey so…this soul mate thing…it's not about you. I just…I don't believe in soul mates."

Tess doesn't look at her, she just busies herself with starting a pot of coffee. "So you said," she replies. "How cutting edge of you."

Hayes crosses her arms over her chest, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Are you always such a ballbuster?" She doesn't know why that thought makes her want to smile.

Tess looks at her, almost sheepishly. "No," she admits. "I…I used to always be worried about crossing some sort of line, making someone upset…making them dislike me. I thought maybe…I just didn't want to disappoint my soul mate when we finally met…" She curls her fingers around the word on her wrist.

Hayes can't help but wonder if maybe Tess was the one disappointed, instead of the other way around.

"Trust me, I'm not soul mate material," Hayes assures her. "I'm really a terrible person. You know I was just arrested for doing cocaine? I tried to steal a police horse once and I slept with one of my college professors. And one of my law school professors…well, more than one. I hate doing laundry, I can't cook. I-"

"Hayes," Tess interrupts and there's a touch of a laugh to her tone, a hint of a smile on her face. Inconceivably. "You can slow down. We don't have to be so focused on the long term."

"But don't we?" Hayes questions and that panicky feeling is back again. "Isn't that exactly what this is about? Forever?"

Tess sighs; she doesn't answer right away. She just gets two mugs from the cabinet and hands one over to Hayes. "Maybe we could just think about tonight. For now."

That makes it easier to breathe, makes it easier for Hayes to inhale, to fill her lungs, to clear her head. And then to exhale again, slowly, looking at Tess and her soft smile, her sparkling eyes.

"Okay," Hayes says quietly, steadily, certain of the word as it leaves her lips. "Tonight."

Tess smiles at her and her expression seems to hint at the softness underneath. Hayes thinks about how easy it would be to take the softness and break it, to crush it, to ruin it. She could do it without meaning to, she could ruin her. Them.

But maybe…maybe she wouldn't. Maybe she could see that smile, that softness, and find a little bit of her own to give in return.


End file.
